Orthnerisms: Figuring out how the world turns

Conversation about difference between public and private schools spurred from the sight of a school bus and Brady's question of why she doesn't ride one. Enter the middle of the conversation...

Brady: "Oh, so we go to a private school."

Yes

Reese: "We go to POTTY school!!!"

Huh?

Reese: "yeah, private school means potty school"

Then the conversation continues to describe the MULTIPLE meanings of private(s). Oh the English language...

Remember when Brady thought a 'rescue' dog is a superhero dog?

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Brady affectionately rubbing my belly..."Is Elli going to have dark skin or light skin?"

Karl (kidding) says "Yes, mommy, what color skin will Elli Dew have?"

I explain a (biological) baby has a mixture of their mommy and daddy's skin color.

Brady: "So can it be dark like your friend's baby in college?" Again, I get the eye from Karl ;)

Yes, Kathy, your sweet girl is still a topic of conversation in our family, Brady loved playing with her SO much...10 months ago! But this honest innocent inquiry allowed me to explain the beauty of adoption once again!

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Watching American Idol with Reese, she asks me...

"Do they have CDs in their mouths?"

I love this...which came first, the voice or the CD ;)

Orthnerisms

September 25:

Brady sat down to watch TV with Karl. He was tuned into a NFL game. Brady seemed pretty interested which always gets Karl happy, then about 5 minutes of watching Brady proclaims:

"Why do all those people keep falling down, they are so silly!"


October 2:

Reese: carried a pair of khaki shorts up to me "These are dark clear!"

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a side note for this story: I have a friend, Stephanie, who works in real estate. My other friend, Erica, takes care of Stephanie's children while she is at showings.

Brady: To Reese, "You know that Stephanie bring her kids to Erica's house and then goes to work. Ok, so, Reese you will drop your kids at my house and then go to work. okay?"

Me: "Brady are you going to have your own kids?"

Brady:"No"  ME: "why?"

Brady: "There is a sharp knife when the baby can't slip out, and I don't want them to cut me with a sharp knife"

HAHAHA... I went own to explain to her about adoption and having your own babies without ever having them in your belly. We know a couple families who adopted and she thought this was the best idea ever and told me she wanted to do that. I even had to explain the whole process of how you end up with a new adopted baby.

Orthnerisms to the “Rescue”

I haven’t done one of these posts in a while, but this one is sure to please…

 

On the way to preschool, out of the blue, Brady says:

 

“Lacey is a Super Dog Hero” (Lacey Jane is my parents’ Jack Russell Terrier)

 

Me: “What do you mean?” “who told you that?”

 

Brady:”Lacey is a Super Hero”

 

Me: “ Did Grandma tell you that?”

 

Brady: “She likes to be in the sun and she runs really fast, she is a super dog hero”

 

Me: “Why does that make her a super hero”

 

Brady: ”Because she is a rescue dog!!!!”

 

After my laughter subsided, I explained to her what a ‘rescue’ dog is and that other dogs in our family (Tiffy and Auggie) are rescued as well.

 

Here is to my parents, brother and Karl's parents for raising a super hero dog…

Lacey Jane AKA “Snake Killer” (yes that is really a snake and yes my mom grabbed her camera instead of interfering, would you have stopped this dog from using her super powers?)

Tiffy AKA “Box Paperweight”

Auggie AKA “Dachshund Tamer”

 

I love there dogs!

Orthnerisms: Amelia Bedila

Let’s start with Reese on this segment of Orthnerisms:

 

Twice today Reese gave me a good good laugh and felt the need to share these stories with you.

 

At dinner, we were talking about Brady’s birthday party tomorrow. The conversation lead me to say to Reese, “You tell the people who are throwing the party whether or not you are attending” Reese then put her hand by her ear, tossed it forward then said “throw my party”. It took me a second to catch what she was doing, but once I figured out she was THROWING a party I laughed pretty hard. I just kept thinking about my favorite childhood books Amelia Bedila.

After dinner we were cleaning up all the toys. Usually Karl or I will assign a different section of the house to each girl to focus on. Karl asked Brady to clean up the dolls and Reese to clean up her Princesses. When it was time for good night story I walked into her room and saw this pile.

I said to Karl, I thought you asked her to clean the princesses up. He said “look closer, she did clean up the PRINCESSES” HAHAHA That smart little cookie took us literally and left all the acquaintances of the princesses on the floor. I think I am in for trouble when this little girl becomes a teenager.

 

Now for Brady girl…

She received a “Baby Alive” doll for her birthday. This is a toy I always wanted when I was little (of course big sister had one but not me). You feed it and it pees and poops in a diaper. Well Brady has LOVED this doll. She has ”potty trained” it and tried to teach it to crawl. She has also cleaned her ears every time after I have to cleaned her newly pierced ears. Also,  I love how she wil be holding the doll while watching TV and occasionally kiss it on the top of her head. But what cracks me up is that I now called “grandma” she will say things like “Grandma, can you go get me another diaper?” Yep, I am a Grandma at 29!

Orthnerisms…long overdue

Bradyisms:

 

“Mom, there is a meatball in my leg”  What? I look back at her playing with her knee cap. “Mom, right here”

 

 

B comes up and kisses my belly while I am sitting. I thank her for the kiss but ask why kiss my belly. She states “it looks like you have a baby in your belly” then continues to pat and kiss it until I stand up….UGH

 

Reesism:

 

I was calling out for Reese to come to me so I could put on her shoes. After a short wait, she rounds the corner and proclaims “Here I am, I found me!”

 

I have always called people who do some silly, goofy. i.e. “Why are you being so goofy?” Well now that I have the girls watching Mickey Mouse in prep for our August trip to disney, if I call Reese goofy she says “ I’m not Goofy, I’m Ickey Mouse”

Orthnerisms: Science Lesson

2/22/11 Brady: “My vitamins are in my belly and they are turning into pee-pees right now, Right Mommy?”

               Me: “Well, they are probably becoming stinkies.”

              Brady: “No, meat makes stinkies”

2/24/11 This is a great follow up to above comment

               Reese is grabbing the back of her diaper.

               Me: “Did you do stinkies?” Reese just looks at me, I check and I was right, full diaper.

               Me: “You need to tell me when you do stinkies”

               Reese: “I did stinkies!”

               Me: laugh and then say “Tell right when you do it, so I can change you”

               Reese: “I have a sandwich in my diaper”

               Me: “what?!?!?”

               Reese: “I have a sandwich and vitamins in my diaper!”

               Well I guess she listened to my digestion lesson with Brady.

Orthnerism: Chapter 2

SO here is a Reeseism for you…. (remember she is barely 2)

 

I used the guest bathroom and she followed me in there. I don’t normally use that bathroom and there is a gate to that room so Reese rarely gets to go into that bathroom. She sees me using the potty and says “That’s Grandma’s bathroom”!

 

The interesting part is Grandma last visited in June, we have had 5 different sets of visitors since then!

 

And our little Brady girl:

I have been making several calls this week to pest control companies in VB.

 

Brady: Who were you talking to on the phone, Mommy?

Me: Another pest company.

Brady: Oh about Dewy and Pace?

 

HAHAHAHA

Orthnerisms: Chapter One

Yes the epic publication of the web novel Bradyisms did real come to a close, but its much anticipated sequel is being premiered today! Like Bradyisms this publication will be released in chapters… I hope you all enjoy the sequel as much as the first.

 

This change to all Orthners is necessary due to the fact we have now two little girls that can have full conversations.

 

Bradyisms:

 

• “Mommy, when I am grown up, can I go grocery shopping by myself and cook chicken just like you?”
• “ After I am four, I will be five!” Yes, sweetheart “What will I be after I am five?” Six “oh, then I can smush?” Smush, what are you talking about? I look back and she has her cheeks blown up and ‘swishing’ them back and forth.
• Me: Do you want to sign up to learn how to play baseball like daddy? “YES!!! Then I can do cheerleading there too?”
• I have to add a story to this…When I was pregnant with Brady, Karl and I were talking about what activities we envisioned our baby girl doing one day. I stated I hoped she didn’t dance because of the body image issues I had as a teenager. He said well we will sign her up for soccer! I said she may not want to do soccer, his response, well she will have to try for at least one season. I said there was no way you could have gotten me on a soccer field when I was a kid.
• So when Brady said this cheerleading thing to me, I brought that conversation up to Karl. He now realizes his first born will most likely not be playing soccer, at least in the near future! He is of course okay with that.
• We were driving around in the car as a whole family and Brady started saying “palandges” over and over cracking up. I said “what are you saying?” Her response “toesies “ Then I realized that she was saying a word that sounded vaguely familiar from my grade school days “phalanges” I immediately pulled out my iPhone to figure out what it meant, since Karl and I had no clue. And sure enough, after I figured out how to spell it, it means the bones in the foot!

Of course, I had one to write for Reese and I can’t think of it now. I will post more when I think of them (or hear new isms that crack me up)

Bradyisms: The Final Chapter….

This is the final chapter because I don’t think it gets much funnier then this…

 

Today I went grocery shopping with Brady, while Karl was at home with Reese. We also stopped at the NEX to buy a couple things and looked at the magazines.

 

So when we got home Karl asked Brady what did she do with Mommy today.

 

Brady’s response: “Mommy was looking for a sister wife!”

 

OMG Out of the blue, that came out of her little mouth! I mean, I will have to say that is my new favorite show on TLC and I think I have discussed it with a friend or two in her presence. I guess she hangs onto every word I say! But it was not a topic of conversation the last couple of days.

Bradyisms: Chapter 5

I know this has been a long time over due so here, for your reading pleasure is a conversation Brady has with me today:

 

BOO: is Maddie having a boy or girl? (Maddie’s mom, Kristen, is due with a boy in Nov.)

Me: Kristen is going to have a boy.

BOO: So Maddie has a sister like me.

Me: No, she will have a brother because he will be a boy.

BOO: I don’t have a brother, just a sister. Maddie not have a brother yet.

Me: No, not yet but soon.

BOO: Oh, just like me.

Me: No, you aren’t going to have a brother soon.

BOO: You have a baby in your belly, mommy?

Me: No sweetheart I don’t.

BOO: But, I want a baby to play with.

Bradyisms Chapter 4

• 5/24/10: After one of Karl’s softball games, “I liked playing with the boy tonight. His name was wheel (Will)”
• 5/27/10: I asked Brady if Bitty Baby was her best friend “yes” and I said well I am glad that Bitty was able to move to Pensacola from Virginia Beach with us. Brady said “And Reese’s Bitty moved to Pensacola too?” Then I explained that Reese’s Bitty didn’t live in Virginia Beach but for a week because she got it the week before we moved (Reese got it for her birthday). Brady then said “Oh, Bitty was in Reese’s belly?”
• 6/6/10: I went in to change Reese’s diaper and Brady told Reese “You stink like stinky”

And this chapter I will leave you with a Reeseism

 

6/6/10: Reese came running into the bathroom when I was showering. I said “who is that!?!”(animated). She stared at me blankly. I then asked her “What is your name?” She promptly answered “Baidy”! They say younger siblings learn from their older siblings. Well I guess she has only heard that question answered by Brady.

Bradyisms: Chapter 3

• 3/17/10: I was explaining to Brady that Mrs. Danielle was coming to our house since Mr. Jeff was out of town. Brady being the observant one, knew his truck was still in the driveway next  door. So she asked me "Did Mr. Jeff walk to town?"


• 3/23/10: We went to go see Cricket and Cody again today and Cody didn't have his collar on like he normally does. Brady asked me "Where is Cody's underwear?"


• 4/1/10: Brady politely asking for something over and over. It was one of those moments, I just couldn't place the word due to context. "I want ______ Bitty Baby". Well when I was finally able to put it all together she was asking for the video monitor to she her baby doll, Bitty Baby, whom was 'napping' in her bedroom with the door closed and the music on.


• 4/1/10: Brady-"What are you doing Mommy?" Me-"I am giving Reese medicine since she is breaking new teeth." Brady-"My teeth are broken,  I need medicine too!"

Bradyisms, Chapter 2

• 2/14/10: I went to get her out of bed, "mommy,  I want lunch", Me: "you mean breakfast?", B: "No, I already had breakfast!" Me: "Oh really, what did you have?" Brady: "Yogurt and applesauce."


• 2/23/10: Pace was barking at the dump truck which lead to him howling. I went to Brady and asked her if she heard Pace howling like a wolf. She told me "There are no wolves in the house, they are only at N. C. State!"


• 3/1/10: Walking through Target and in the Easter section, she lights up and proclaims "Candyland!"


• 3/1/10: We were reading an Arthur book to Brady (her new obsession) and she saw this picture below, which we have read this book at least 20 times to her, so this isn't a new book at all...

Brady pointed to the Mom holding baby Cate and stated that the baby was getting "milk"....the last time she saw breastfeeding in action was at least December maybe longer... I couldn't stop laughing though because it caught me off guard while reading.

Bradyisms

Those of you who go to Facebook often may have been treated with several Bradyisms. I have decided to compile all of them into a single blog post for your reading pleasure. Please sit back and relax as you dive into a two year old's mind.

• "That's not football, that's N. C. State!" while watching a game live at Carter Finley


• Karl: What does Santa wear? Brady: "a flight suit...it's red,  and daddy, yours is green!"


• Brady said to Karl (who checked out of the squadron two days ago) tonight at dinner "You flying the helicopter tonight?" To her that is the only explanation why Daddy has been home all day!!!


• At breakfast she wanted me to explain the difference between Daddies and husbands so afterwards she said to me "You get dirty when you get married?"


• When the time had past for us to feed our dogs, Karl said to one of the dogs, "Dewy, why didn't you sign for 'eat'?" and Brady says "Silly Daddy, dogs don't have hands!"...

So here are the new ones that I have saved and have not been posted on FB:

• We all went to a Super Bowl party next door (remember this is Sunday night, so Karl had been home all weekend). We were walking home after the 3rd quarter, and she sees Karl's car in the driveway and proclaims "DADDY'S HOME!!!!"


• "Mommy, there's a baby in my belly" Me: What?!?!? "Mommy, there is a Reagan in my belly" (Reagan is the name of her good friend's 4 day old sister)


• Brady has a conditioner that smells like grapes, and a detangler that smells like pears, so tonight while Karl was giving the girls a bath I asked B what her shampoo smells like. It has a fragance, it just isn't labeled on the bottle; her response "It smells like football games"

I am starting to realize after these are all compile together that her ingenuousness falls in place mainly when Daddy  is around........HMMMMMM